I don't wanna be in love?

Last week I tried really hard to be in love.

And when I say that, I mean I cranked up my favorite love songs and squinted like I was trying to cry.  Except I just tried to imagine myself with ANYONE living out those songs.  And...I couldn't.
There's never been a point in my life where I wasn't "in love" with someone.  I always have love interests.  This is like some sort of parallel universe.

I'm trying to decide how I feel about it.